Fear No More
by fozrulz
Summary: Ellie is asked to sing in church. A story based on the song "Fear No More" by the Afters. You might want to listen to it before you read the story.


FEAR NO MORE

This is an Ellie story based off the song "I Will Fear No More" by The Afters. Let's just pretend it was written during the 1860s. Ellie is 13. Adam is 30, Will is 28, Clay is 26, Hoss is 24 and Joe is 18.

_Every anxious thought that steals my breath  
It's a heavy weight upon my chest  
As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold  
Help me to remember that You're in control_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind  
I will trust You, Lord  
I will fear no more_

_I will lift my eyes  
I will lift my cares  
Lay them in Your hands  
I'll leave them there  
When the wind and waves are coming  
You shelter me  
Even though I'm in the storm, the storm is not in me_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind  
I will trust You, Lord  
I will…_

Ellie was sitting in Sunday school next to her best friend, Marybeth. Their teacher was about to say the final prayer. Ellie was losing interest. Mrs. Winters had to be the most boring Sunday school teacher she had ever had. Last year Adam had taught her class. He always made it exciting. Mrs. Winters had a monotone voice. Marybeth kept poking her to keep her awake. Finally the prayer was over and class was dismissed.

Marybeth and Ellie walked out to head toward the church to meet up with their families. "Jeez, Ellie, what's the matter with you?"

Ellie looked at Marybeth, "What do you mean?"

Marybeth rolled her eyes. Mrs. Winters must have called on you at least five times. You had no idea where we were. You're going to be lucky if she doesn't tell your papa."

Ellie looked fearful. She did not want to get into any trouble. She had gotten permission for Marybeth to come over after church. Papa didn't normally allow visitors on Sunday. If she got in any trouble, she knew that Marybeth wouldn't be able to spend Sunday afternoon at the Ponderosa. Sunday was supposed to be a family day. Ellie had convinced her papa earlier in the week to allow her to have a friend come over. Her mind momentarily lapsed back to the conversation.

It was Wednesday night and everyone was home. Hoss and Joe were playing checkers. Ellie was watching Joe and Hoss play. Adam was playing his guitar. Will and Clay were reading. Pa was sitting at his desk taking care of ranch business. Pa looked up from his desk. Joe was sitting on the table with his feet on the table. Pa shook his head.

"Joseph?"

Joe looked up. Pa only used his whole name if he was in trouble or if Pa was trying to be really serious about something. He couldn't imagine what he had done to get in trouble this time. Joe looked at his Pa innocently, "Yes sir?"

"Do you think you could manage to play checkers with your brother without your feet on the table?"

Joe looked at Pa sheepishly, "Yes sir, sorry."

Everyone else snickered. Pa's pet peeve was for them to put their feet on the table. For some reason, Joe was the only one who couldn't remember the rule. Pa glared at the snickers and the rest of the family busied themselves with whatever they had been doing. Suddenly, the grandfather clock rang out. It was 9:00, time for Ellie to go to bed.

Pa looked up at the clock as he put tobacco in his pipe. He lit his pipe and took a puff. "Ellie, time for bed. Say your goodnights."

Ellie got up and went the rounds for hugs and kisses. She thought she was actually a little old for that, but it seemed to make the boys happy, so she did it anyway. She finished with her brothers and went to kiss her papa goodnight. She had been wanting to ask him if Marybeth could come over after church on Sunday. Normally, Papa didn't allow company on Sunday. He felt like it was family time. Especially now that Clay and Will were home, Papa wanted everyone to be together. He was worried that before he knew it, the older boys would be married with families of their own and he wanted as much family time as he could get.

She walked toward his desk, twirling her long black curls. "Papa, can I ask you something?" she asked standing in front of his desk.

He looked at her curiously, she was twirling her hair. It was something she did when she was nervous, scared or tired. He couldn't imagine why she looked unsettled. "Of course, darling, what is it?"

"Well, um, I was thinking… Could Marybeth come over on Sunday after church?" she asked.

Pa started to shake his head no.

"Papa, before you say 'no', would you please listen?" she asked plaintively.

"Don't I always listen?" asked Pa.

Across the room, Adam had been watching the exchange. He was still playing his guitar, but he was watching. He sucked in a breath at Pa's question because truth be told, Pa did not always listen. He was hoping Ellie was diplomatic in her answer.

She started twirling her hair even more. "Well, Papa, most of the time you do, but not always."

Ben breathed in. Well he supposed she was right, he tried to listen. Perhaps he didn't always. "I'm sorry darling that you don't think I always listen, I do try."

Adam sighed in relief.

"I know, it's just that sometimes I get tired of being the only girl, there are so many more of you than me. I know Sunday is a family day, but I was hoping…."

Pa sat back and considered. Normally Ellie really loved to be with all her brothers. They all spoiled her rotten. Maybe she was growing up on him. Now that thought made him profoundly sad. She was going to be his baby forever. "Ellie is there something special that you wanted to do on Sunday?"

"Well, Marybeth and I talked about how fun it would be if we could bake some cookies for the church social in two weeks."

Pa raised his eyebrows. "Ellie, that's two weeks away. Those cookies wouldn't last with all your brothers in the house."

"I know Papa, but we need to practice and well, we kinda wanted to do it on our own, you know with no one standing over us."

Pa started shaking his head, "I don't know if Hopsing is going to let you in his kitchen."

Ellie brightened up, "I already asked his permission. He said it was ok as long as he could watch us put them in the oven."

Pa nodded his head, "Well than I guess it's fine. Does Marybeth have her parent's permission?"

Ellie shook her head, "I don't know, she didn't ask yet because I hadn't gotten permission from you."

Pa sighed, "Ok, you have my permission as long as Mr. Aaron and Miss Liza say it's ok."

Ellie went around the desk to Pa's chair and gave him a big hug and kiss, "Thanks Papa," she said gratefully.

"Eleanor?" Pa called.

Ellie turned around as she was headed up the stairs, "Yes sir?"

"I don't want this to be a habit, I would still like to reserve Sundays for family days."

"I know Papa, I promise. Just every once in a while."

Pa nodded and Ellie happily went up the stairs.

"Ellie, Ellie," her friend Marybeth was talking to her.

Ellie was startled out of her memories, "What?"

Marybeth rolled her eyes, "If you don't start paying attention, you're going to get in trouble and we won't be able to make cookies this afternoon."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the entire service. Reverend Price is so boring."

Marybeth's eyebrows went up, "Good grief Ellie, keep your voice down, someone's going to hear you. Then you're really going to get in trouble for being disrespectful."

Ellie looked at her friend, "Right!" she said as she made a show of locking her lips and throwing away the key.

Marybeth rolled her eyes again. The girls heard the 5 minute bell for church. They had 5 minutes to get to their seats. They hurried into the church. Ellie quickly made it to the family pew. Pa used to make Joe and Ellie sit next to him so he could keep their fidgeting to a minimum. Now he was just glad everyone was in church together. Ellie went to the other side of the pew where Adam was sitting. She figured she would be in less trouble with Adam that with Papa if she started fidgeting. It wasn't long before the service became very boring and Ellie was day dreaming. She was startled out of her day dream when Adam pulled her to a standing position for a hymn. "Pay attention," he hissed.

Ellie looked at him apologetically, "Sorry," she mouthed. She had been worried about Mrs. Winters telling Papa about her lack of attention in class. She didn't know why Mrs. Winters even cared. She was a callous old self-righteous woman and none of the kids really like her. But she remembered that last week, Mathew had been inattentive and she had seen Mrs. Winters talking to his parents after services. She had spent the entire service praying that Mrs. Winters would not come tell Papa about Sunday school.

Finally, the interminable hour was over and the congregation was dismissed. The entire family congregated outside visiting with other parishioners. Ellie started to head over to get Marybeth, when Reverend Price approached her.

Eleanor?" he asked.

Ellie gulped, oh my God, did he hear her say he was boring, did Mrs. Winters tell him about Sunday school, she turned toward him, "Yes sir?"

"Can I speak to you for a minute?" he continued.

Ellie looked like a scared rabbit. The pastor laughed to himself. She must think she is in trouble. Guilty conscience? "Ellie, you're not in trouble, I just want to ask you a favor."

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, "Yes sir?"

In the meantime, Adam had noticed that the Reverend had called to Ellie and she was walking toward him. He nudged Pa, and gestured with his head toward Elle. "I wonder what that is about?"

Pa shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know son."

The Reverend looked down at Ellie, "Eleanor, Mrs. Johnson won't be here to play the organ the next two weeks, I was wondering if you would sing for us in two weeks on the 23rd?"

Ellie really loved to sing as long is wasn't in front of anyone, except family. She didn't really want to, but she wasn't sure how to say no. "Gosh, I don't know, it's Papa's birthday."

The Reverend smiled broadly, "Wouldn't that be a lovely present for him?"

Ellie looked at him, "Yes sir, I guess so. What song did you want me to sing?"

"I'll leave that to you." He said placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Reverend Price?"

"Yes?"

"Can we keep it a secret? I think I want to surprise Papa." She asked.

"As you wish," he said winking at her and taking his leave.

Ellie sighed and turned toward her family. She saw Adam motioning her over. Then she saw Mrs. Winters walking toward Pa. "Oh no," she whispered. She hurried over to the family. Marybeth was waiting for her with the family. When she got there, Marybeth asked her, "What did Reverend Price want?"

"I'll tell you later. I have bigger problems. Here comes Mrs. Winters." Ellie hissed.

Marybeth looked around Ellie and saw Mrs. Winters. Mrs. Winters was calling Pa, "Mr. Cartwright?"

Pa looked at Mrs. Winters walking purposefully toward him. He really didn't want to get into a discussion with the old biddy. He just wanted to get the family home and spend the day together. She finally reached him. He tipped his hat, "Good afternoon Mrs. Winters, I'm sorry, we are running quite late, I'd enjoy talking to you some other time. Good day!"

Ellie couldn't believe her good luck. She had definitely dodged a bullet. "That was close," she whispered to Marybeth. Marybeth nodded. The family loaded up in the buckboard and headed for home. They arrived home to find lunch ready. The noise was almost deafening for Ellie. Loud noises really bothered her. Everyone was jabbering at once. She sneaked a peak at Marybeth and noticed that she had finished lunch. It was the perfect time to ask for permission to leave the table.

"Papa, may Marybeth and I be excused?" Ellie asked.

Pa looked at the girls plates, they seemed to have eaten enough. He nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, you're excused."

"Thank you," chorused the girls. They pushed back from the table and headed for Ellie's room.

"Girls?" Pa asked.

"Sir?" Ellie responded.

"I thought you wanted to make cookies?"

"Yes Papa, but Hopsing told me I had to wait until after lunch and he would let me know when the kitchen was ready for us."

"What about helping Hopsing with the dishes?" Pa inquired. He didn't like the idea of her shirking her chores because she had company.

"Hopsing told me not to help with the dishes today because we would be cleaning up after the cookies."

"Ok, go on," Pa said.

Ellie and Marybeth headed upstairs. When they got to her room, Ellie flopped on her bed. "Whew, that was close. He sounded kind of mad, I thought I was going to get in trouble."

"So, what did Reverend Price want?" asked Marybeth changing the subject.

Ellie rolled her eyes, "He wants me to sing on the 23rd because Mrs. Johnson won't be here."

"Are you going to do it?" asked Marybeth. She knew Ellie didn't like to sing in front of people.

"Yeah, I guess. That's Papa's birthday and Reverend Price said it would be a nice present for him." Ellie said twirling her hair.

"Yeah, he asked me to play the piano," said Marybeth. She was only 14, but played the piano like no one else. She had a gift.

"Heh Marybeth, maybe we can do it together. You know, I could just sing standing next to the piano. Then maybe I wouldn't get so nervous." Ellie said looking at her friend hopefully.

Marybeth's eyes lit up. "Say, that's a good idea. Did he tell you what song he wanted you to sing?"

Ellie shook her head, "No, he said it was my choice."

"Do you want to look at the hymnal? We can probably go over to the church after school and pick one, so we can practice." Marybeth asked.

"Well, I have an idea for a song. It's not a regular hymn, so I don't know if that would be ok." Ellie said thoughtfully.

"What song?" asked Marybeth curiously.

"It's a song that Adam sang to me when we had to do that oral history project. I was so nervous the night before, I thought I was going to throw up." Ellie confided.

Ellie thought back to that night. She had an oral history project due in school the next day. She had everything ready. She had chosen to do her project on the inventions of Ben Franklin. She had been working for a whole month on the project. She thought she had done a good job putting everything together, but she always dropped a grade because she got so nervous in front of the class. She had been sitting on her bed reading over her notes. She decided that she needed a little reassurance. Papa was in Carson City for the night, so the next best thing was Adam. She jumped off her bed and walked down the hall to Adam's room. She knocked on his door, "Adam?"

Adam got up and answered the door. He opened it to find his little sister standing there looking white as a sheet. He ushered her into the room. "What's the matter, you look like your about to be sick."

Ellie looked up at him, "I have to give an oral report tomorrow. I just hate them. I hate talking in front of people."

Adam stood her between his knees, "Why? Why do you hate it so much?"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. It's just scary. I don't want people to laugh at me if I mess up."

"How do you know that you're going to mess up?" asked Adam.

Ellie rolled her eyes, "I always mess up."

Adam shook his head. Ellie was always hardest on herself. "Ellie, remember that time in church when you said you were singing for Jesus and that helped you not be so scared?"

"Yes," Ellie hesitated.

"Can't you do that same thing?" asked Adam.

Ellie looked at him confused. "What do you mean? Say a report on Ben Franklin for Jesus. I can't imagine why Jesus would care about Ben Franklin's inventions."

Adam laughed, "No, I meant you can pray about taking your fear away. He loves you and can carry your burdens for you. You know, lay your burdens at the foot of the cross. You know the Bible says with God all things are possible."

"I don't know. I know that Jesus can take all my fears away, but it's hard to…" Ellie started. She really didn't know how to say what she was feeling.

Adam thought he understood, "You mean it's hard to trust him?"

Ellie nodded, "Yeah, is that being a bad Christian?"

Adam shook his head, "No, it's something that I think everyone works on every day. It's hard to let go of that control and just turn it over to Jesus."

Ellie nodded again in understanding, "Yeah, it is. I'm not sure how to do that."

Adam sighed, "You know Ellie, people struggle with that every day. Look at it this way, you trust Pa to take care of you and help you and sometimes you just turn over the problem to him and he takes care of it right?"

Ellie nodded in agreement.

"Well, I think your heavenly father is even stronger than your earthly father, so he can carry your burdens. Don't you think?" Adam continued.

Ellie sat there mulling over what Adam was saying.

Adam touched Ellie's arm. "I think I have a song that may help you." Adam knew that Ellie tried to relate her life to songs. She had trouble expressing her feelings sometimes, but then she would hear a song that would express them perfectly.

Ellie looked up at him, "Oh."

Adam took out his guitar and played "I Will Fear No More". He sang,

_Every anxious thought that steals my breath  
It's a heavy weight upon my chest  
As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold  
Help me to remember that You're in control_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind  
I will trust You, Lord  
I will fear no more_

_I will lift my eyes  
I will lift my cares  
Lay them in Your hands  
I'll leave them there  
When the wind and waves are coming  
You shelter me  
Even though I'm in the storm, the storm is not in me_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind  
I will trust You, Lord_

By the time Adam was finished, Ellie was in tears. The song caught her heart. "Wow, that is so beautiful. It reminds me how Jesus is our rock." She said drying her eyes.

Adam nodded his head. "I can teach you to play it on the guitar." Adam had been teaching her to play the guitar over the last year. His guitar was really too big for her. He had planned on getting her one for Christmas that was more her size.

"I would really like that. You know what else?" Ellie asked.

"What?" responded Adam.

"That song reminds me of Papa. You know the chorus, that says you're my courage when I worry, you're my strength because I'm not strong enough… Well the whole song makes me think of him. You know it's a song that reminds us of God's strength and how he takes care of us. Kind of the same thing for Papa. It reminds me of his strength and how he takes care of all of us."

Adam smiled and nodded. "I think I agree with you. So, can you think of that song before you give your report and draw your strength and courage from God. Plus you can picture Pa in the front row and you can draw your strength and courage from him."

Ellie nodded her head, "I think so. But Adam, is it ok to think that a Christian song reminds of both God and our father on earth?"

Adam smiled and pulled her into a hug, "I think so Princess. After all, God is our father in heaven and Pa is our father on earth and the song talks about our father, so who's to say which one the song is supposed to remind us of."

Ellie nodded her head. She leaned into Adam and gave him a hug and a kiss, "Thanks, Adam."

"Any time." Then Adam heard the clock strike 9:00. "Heh, little girl, it's time for bed."

Ellie gave him another hug, "Night, Adam."

"Night, Princess."

Marybeth touched Ellie's arm. "Heh, where did you go? You had a faraway look in your eyes."

"Oh, I was just remembering when Adam taught me that song." Ellie said smiling at her friend.

"Do you want to sing it for me?" asked Marybeth.

"Let me get the music from Adam and see if I can borrow his guitar." Ellie said.

Just then, the girls heard Hopsing calling them to come make cookies.

"Coming Hopsing," called Ellie. "Come on Marybeth, I'll ask Adam about the song later, let's go make cookies before Hopsing changes his mind." Ellie said grabbing her friend's hand and dragging her toward the stairs. The girls entered the kitchen and Hopsing had everything ready for them. They were making gingerbread men. Hopsing even had a little wooden cutout mold for gingerbread men.

"Ok Missy, everything here. You call Hopsing when you ready to use the oven."

The girls nodded, "Ok Hopsing, thank you."

The girls spent the afternoon making cookies. Ellie really wanted to decorate them, but they didn't know how to make icing. Maybe she would ask Hopsing the next time. When they got the gingerbread men ready for the oven, they placed them on the baking sheets and called Hopsing. Under his watchful eye, they put them in the oven.

"Ok Missy, you wait 1 hour and then they be ready. I take them out for you." Hopsing told them.

"But Hopsing, we can take them out." Ellie whined.

Hopsing shook his head, "No, no, you listen to Hopsing."

Ellie sighed, she knew that was a losing battle. If she argued, she would be in trouble with Hopsing and Hopsing would tell Papa she was being disobedient. It wasn't worth it. She turned to Marybeth, "Let's go see if Adam will let me borrow his guitar and we can talk about the song." Marybeth just nodded her head in agreement.

They walked out in the great room to find Will and Clay reading. "Where is everyone?" Ellie asked.

"Joe and Hoss went fishing, Pa is taking a nap and Adam is in his room." Clay said looking up from his book.

Ellie rolled her eyes. Some family time, everybody was doing something different. "Ok," she said.

"Come on, Marybeth, let's go upstairs." Ellie said turning to her friend.

"Ellie?" Clay asked, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yes?"

"Be quiet ok? Pa was really tired." Clay warned her.

"Ok," she said.

Ellie and Marybeth made it upstairs to Adam's room. Ellie knocked on the door. "Adam?"

Adam came to his door to find the two girls standing in the doorway. "Did you girls need something?"

"I wanted to play that song you taught me "I Will Fear No More" to Marybeth.

"Oh,?"

"Yeah, I need the music and I wanted to borrow the guitar. Actually, Adam could you play it for us?" asked Ellie.

Adam nodded as he walked over to his guitar and grabbed the music off his desk.

"Adam, maybe we should go outside or go to the barn, Clay said Papa is really tired and was taking a nap. I don't want to wake him up." Ellie explained.

Adam and the girls went down the stairs and out to the barn. Adam played the song for Marybeth and Ellie and Adam sang. Marybeth fell in love with the song. "Wow," she said, "that is perfect."

"What do you think?" asked Ellie. "Do you think it would work? Do you think you could play it on the piano?"

Marybeth nodded her head. "Yes, I think I can. The chords don't seem hard."

Adam was curious, it's almost as if the girls forgot that he was sitting there. "Girls?" he asked.

"Yes," they said simultaneously looking at Adam.

"Will this work for what?" asked Adam.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Reverend Price asked me to sing on the 23rd because Mrs. Johnson won't be here to play the organ. He said I could pick the song. He asked Marybeth to play the piano on the next two Sundays."

"I see," said Adam. He could see that Ellie wasn't quite finished with her story. "And?" he prompted.

"Well, I asked Marybeth if she would play the piano while I sing and I could stand at the piano. Maybe I wouldn't get so nervous." Ellie answered him.

Adam nodded his head. "That sounds like a good idea."

Ellie started twirling her hair again. "Adam, can you not tell Papa, I want it to be surprise for his birthday. I'm also not sure that the Reverend will let me sing it because it's not one of our regular hymns."

"Sure, Princess, I think that would be a really wonderful birthday present." Adam said, as he stood and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Adam, there is one more thing." Ellie hesitated.

"What's that?" Adam asked as he turned toward her as his started walking toward the door.

"Would you play your guitar with me and Marybeth? I don't think I can play and sing in front of everyone. It would be easier if I only have to do one. Plus, it sounds so pretty when you play. When I play, it still sounds like a cat caught in a room full of rocking chairs."

Adam laughed. "Sure, Princess. I would love to accompany you."

Ellie ran over to him and gave him a great big hug, "You're the best big brother," she whispered.

Adam smiled down at her, "I love you little girl."

Ellie smiled contentedly.

Marybeth looked on. She loved how Ellie and Adam reminded her of Andrew and herself. Even though Andrew was so much older than she was, they were very close. "Heh Ellie, we better go see if the cookies are ready."

Ellie's eyes got big, "Oh my, I forgot. Let's go."

The girls ran into the house just as Hopsing was calling for them to come see the cookies he had taken out of the over. Marybeth heard the clock strike 4:00. She knew Andrew or one of her other brothers were coming to pick her up. She looked at Ellie, "I bet I am going to have to go home soon. It's 4:00."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's wrap some up for you to take home," Ellie said as they walked into the kitchen. Ellie looked at Hopsing. "Thank you for taking the cookies out of the oven."

Hopsing nodded. "Missy do very good job cleaning up. Gingerbread men very good."

Ellie smiled broadly. Those gingerbread men looked fine. Today was such a good day. "Hopsing, Marybeth has to go home soon, can we give her cookies to take home?"

"Sure Missy, I give her some. You wait here." Hopsing said as he started to wrap up the cookies.

As Hopsing was wrapping up the cookies, Marybeth heard a knock at the door. She looked at Ellie, "That's probably one of the boys."

Ellie nodded hear head.

Marybeth heard Andrew's voice. She accepted the cookies from Hopsing and ran out of the kitchen. "Heh Andrew." She greeted.

"Heh honey, did you have a good time?"

Marybeth nodded her head enthusiastically. Then Andrew nudged her. Oops, she had almost forgotten. She looked around the room, "Thank you for having me, Mr. Cartwright."

"Your welcome, Marybeth. You two be careful going home," Pa said.

"Yes sir," they answered at once.

Marybeth and Andrew headed out and Ellie went to sit by Hoss on the couch. "Hoss you want a cookie, we made gingerbread men."

Hoss licked his lips, "Those cookies smell mighty good."

Ellie giggled, "I'll go get them. Anybody else want one?"

As the boys were expressing their desire to have a cookie, Pa broke in. "Ellie, get one cookie for each, it's too close to supper."

Pa laughed at the chorus of "Aww, Pa." that he heard. They may be grown up, but they still acted like little boys sometimes.

The next morning Ellie was thinking about how she should ask Reverend Price about the song. She also needed to ask permission for Marybeth and her to practice the song with the piano. It would really be easiest if Adam picked her up from school, so he could go with her to ask and she could surprise the whole family. She hopped out of bed and went and knocked on Adam's door. "Adam?"

Adam came to the door, thankfully he had just put his pants on and only had to put his shirt on. He opened the door with his shirt in his hand. He was surprised to his see his little sister at the door. Usually Ellie and Joe were the last ones down. "Well, good morning," he said smiling at her.

"Good morning," she said looking around to make sure no one else was in the hallway. "Can I come in for a minute?"

Curious as to why she was acting so secretive, Adam stepped back to allow her to come in. When she closed his door, he looked at her. "What's up, Ellie?"

"I just wanted to ask you to pick me up from school, so I could go over to the church and ask Reverend Price about the song. I was hoping to surprise the whole family, not just Papa. So, if someone else comes to pick me up, the surprise will be ruined. Plus if you're there we can all three practice together."

"Oh, I see," said Adam. "I would be happy to pick you up from school. But there may be days that I can't pick you up over the next two weeks."

"Well maybe on those days, we just won't practice. Marybeth will be able to tell Reverend Price. I think her family already knows she's playing."

"Ok, deal," said Adam. "Ellie?"

"Yes, Adam?"

"Go get dressed, you can't go to school in your nightgown."

Ellie looked down, "Oops!"

Adam laughed as Ellie hurried out of his room down the hall to her own room to get dressed for school.

The school day dragged for Ellie. She really wanted to sing that song for her Papa. She thought it would mean so much to him. She really loved her Papa like she could love no other. Papa always said that gifts from the heart were the best gifts, even better than anything someone could buy. Ellie was running through the song in her head, when Ms. Jones called on her. Ellie didn't even hear her. Marybeth nudged her. Startled, Ellie looked at her friend. "What?" she mouthed.

"Ms. Jones," Marybeth mouthed back.

Ellie looked up guiltily at Ms. Jones. The last thing she needed was to get in trouble at school. "Yes ma'am?"

"Eleanor, I am getting quite tired of your inattention today. Do you know where we are?" Ms. Jones said disapprovingly.

Ellie shook her head, "No ma'am," she said barely above a whisper. The classroom snickered. Ellie flushed with embarrassment.

"We are on page 53, please continue reading." Ms. Jones sighed.

Ellie quickly stood and read until it was the next person's turn. When Ellie sat down, she knew that Ms. Jones was going to send a note home. She was sure to get grounded. Papa didn't abide any misbehavior in school. If you got in trouble in school, you usually got in trouble at home. As Ellie predicted, Ms. Jones called her up to her desk after class was dismissed for the day.

"Eleanor, I am quite disappointed in you. You are one of the best students in this class. You older children need to set an example for the younger children. You must pay attention. I want this note signed by your father and returned to me tomorrow along with a 200 word essay on why paying attention is important."

Ellie sighed accepting the note. "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again."

"See that you don't." Ms. Jones said primly.

"Yes ma'am." Ellie said turning to leave. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. Papa had threatened that the next time she got in trouble for not paying attention, she was going to be restricted to the ranch for two weeks. That meant no riding, no friends, and probably more chores. As she turned around, Adam entered the school house. He saw the tears in her eyes and the annoyed look on Ms. Jones' face.

"Is there a problem, Ms. Jones?" asked Adam.

"Once again, Eleanor was failing to pay attention in class. This is really becoming a bad habit."

Adam sighed. Ellie was normally such a good girl when it came to school. When she got in trouble, it was almost always because she was day dreaming. Ellie was fingering the note. She really didn't want to give it to Papa. Adam looked at her with his hand out, "Let me have it."

Ellie handed it to him reluctantly.

"Come on Ellie, we have a few things to do in town before we can go home. Good bye Ms. Jones, Ellie will bring this note back to you tomorrow." Adam said as he placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder and propelled her toward the back door.

Ellie looked up at Adam when they got outside. "Adam, please don't give that note to Papa. He said the next time I get in trouble, I was going to be on restriction for 2 weeks."

Adam shook his head, "I have to give it to him. You're just going to have to put up with the punishment. What were you day dreaming about this time?"

"The song," she said.

"Oh, well let's go see Reverend Price about that song. Maybe once you have it settled in your mind, you won't have to think about it so much."

"Ok," Ellie said leaning into Adam for a hug. She just needed a little reassurance that he wasn't angry with her.

Sensing her distress, Adam hugged her. "Ellie, you really need to pay more attention in school."

"I know, but it can be so very boring. There are so many times that I feel like everyone else is so slow. You know I have finished all my math, history and English for the entire term. I usually have finished the lesson way before everyone else. So, I just try and work ahead. Then I just have to sit there and wait. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging or that I am smarter than anyone else, it just comes easier to me than most." Ellie said trying to explain her point of view.

Adam looked down at her. The distress was radiating off of her. He assumed that it was school and the idea of singing in church all wrapped into one big stress for her. Adam stopped walking and turned her to face him. He really understood because he had the same problems when he was in school. He got more whippings from the schoolmaster for not paying attention than anything else. When he had finally told Pa what the problem was, Pa had spoken to the schoolmaster about Adam skipping grades. Instead of skipping grades, Pa had just sent Adam to college at the suggestion of the schoolmaster. "I will talk to Pa and see if we can't do something about that, ok?"

"OK," she said dejectedly.

"Let me see a smile. We can go talk to Reverend Price about the song. Then we need to head over to Callahan's. Hopsing said you used all his sugar."

Ellie gave him a smile. "Adam if Mr. Callahan has the new Charles Dicken's book, can I get it? I have the money at home, I've been saving my allowance."

"Which book is that?"

"_The Mystery of Edwin Drood_."

"Sure, we'll check. Now let's get on over to the church. Pa's going to wonder what happened to us."

Adam and Ellie arrived at the church. Reverend Price was in his office at the back of the church. He looked up from the sermon he was writing. "Well hello, Adam, Eleanor. How can I help you?"

Ellie just stood there. For someone who was so talkative, she hated talking to adults. She tended to be very shy around them, unless she thought they were a threat to her family, then she was a she-bear. Adam gave her a little nudge, "Ellie wanted to talk to you about the song you wanted her to sing on the 23rd."

The Reverend raised his eyebrows, "Yes, Ellie?"

"I want to sing a song that Adam taught me when I was worried about giving a report at school. It's not one of our regular hymns."

"What is it?" asked the Reverend.

"It's called _I Will Fear No More,_" said Ellie.

The reverend shook his head, "I don't know that one."

"Well I could sing it for you, or maybe Adam and I can sing it for you. It sounds really pretty when Adam plays it on his guitar. Marybeth said she play the piano part."

The Reverend nodded, "Ok, why don't you sing it for me."

Ellie looked at Adam. "I'll sing it with you," Adam said. Ellie nodded and took a deep breath. When they started signing acapella, Ellie just kept her eyes fixed on Adam, so she wouldn't get nervous. When they finished, Ellie looked at Reverend Price.

Reverend Price clapped. "That was beautiful!"

Ellie blushed. "Reverend Price, do you suppose Adam could sing it with me and play his guitar in church?"

"I think that would be fine. Ellie, why did you pick that song?" Reverend Price asked.

"Well, I was really scared about giving a report in front of my class and Adam sang me this song. It reminded me of how God is always there and takes care of us and can take our fear away. It also reminds me of my father and how he always takes care of us. It reminds me how I can lay my fears down and let God carry them. I kind of feel like that about my father, he just always seems to know what to do and when. How my father always takes care of me and well my brothers."

Reverend Price smiled broadly. "That is a lovely testimony. It would be very nice if you give that testimony before you sing the song."

"I guess," said Ellie looking at Adam for approval. Adam nodded his head.

Adam looked at his pocket watch, "We need to get going. Did you need to ask Reverend Price anything else?"

Ellie thought for a moment. "Yes," she said turning toward Reverend Price. "I needed to ask you if we could practice at the church so Marybeth can practice the music on the piano and if you would keep this a secret, so I can surprise Papa for his birthday."

Reverend Price nodded. "That suits me just fine. I will see you tomorrow after school for practice?"

"Yes sir, that would be fine," Ellie said.

"Come on Ellie, we need to be getting home," said Adam standing up. He looked at the Reverend. "Thank you , sir."

Adam and Ellie headed out of the church and to Callahan's General Store. Ellie was greatly relieved that the Reverend liked her song choice and that her plans for the song seemed to be working out perfectly. She'd forgotten about the note from Ms. Jones for the time being. They arrived at the store.

"Hi, Mr. Callahan," Ellie said brightly.

"Well if isn't the Cartwrights." He said smiling. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well, we need some sugar," said Adam.

Mr. Callahan grabbed some sacks of sugar and looked at Adam, "Anything else Adam?"

"Do you have the new Charles Dicken's book, Mr. Callahan?" Ellie asked leaning on the counter.

Mr. Callahan looked over Ellie's head at Adam and winked. "New book, I'm just sure there aren't any new ones out Ellie."

Ellie looked crest fallen. She was just sure she had seen the new book advertised in the San Francisco newspaper Papa had been reading. "Oh, I thought for sure I had seen an advertisement for the new one, maybe I misunderstood. It's called the _Mystery of Edwin Drood_."

"Hmm. Seems like I have heard of that one. Are you sure you're old enough to read something that hard?"

"Humph, I've read all of his other books. Gosh I am 13," Ellie stated indignantly.

Adam was about to bust out laughing. Mr. Callahan was just playing with her. "Adam, you sure your Pa be letting her read a book like that? It really is not intended for children."

Adam couldn't contain himself, he started laughing.

Ellie looked at him. She was hopping mad. "Quit laughing, it isn't funny. Why does everyone treat me like a baby?"

Mr. Callahan started to feel bad. "Ellie, honey, calm down. I was just joshing with you. Adam ordered that book the minute he knew about it. It's right here." He said pulling it from under the counter.

"Oh," she said softly. "I'm sorry Mr. Callahan, I didn't mean to be rude or disrespectful."

She'd done it now. She didn't think Adam would let her get the book because she had been bordering on rude and disrespectful. She was already in trouble from school. Ellie sighed. "I really am sorry Mr. Callahan."

"It's ok honey. I shouldn't have been teasing you." Mr. Callahan apologized.

Ellie turned toward Adam. "Adam, can I still get it?"

Adam shook his head no. Ellie sighed. She just knew he wasn't going to let her get it. "Ellie, go on out to the wagon, I'll get the sugar."

Ellie slumped. "Ok," she said looking at her feet.

Ellie headed out of the store. Adam grinned at Mr. Callahan. "Dave, go ahead and wrap up that book."

Mr. Callahan looked surprised, "I thought you said she couldn't get it."

Adam chuckled, "I ordered that book for me, I can share. She isn't getting it, I am."

"She's going to give you an earful for lying to her," he cautioned.

"Heh, I didn't lie. She isn't getting it. I am." Adam grinned.

Dave Callahan shook his head, "It's your ears she'll be blistering, not mine, boy. Good luck!"

Adam just laughed as he took his leave. He headed out to the wagon with the sugar and the book. He hid the book under the sugar, Ellie wasn't even paying any attention to him. The ride home was fairly quiet. Ellie seemed to be brooding, she had gone from a very sunny mood, to brooding.

"Heh Princess, what's the matter. You still upset about the book?" asked Adam as he nudged his sister.

Ellie shook her head, "No, I knew you wouldn't let me get it the moment I got sassy with Mr. Callahan. Papa sure wouldn't have."

"Then what's bothering you?" Adam asked concerned. Apparently, he had forgotten about the note from Ms. Jones.

"The note from Ms. Jones. Papa's going to be furious that I got in trouble again. I know I am going to be on restriction, I just hope he doesn't want to give me a spanking on top of it."

"Well, I see what I can do," Adam assured her. Adam had spent his life intervening for Hoss, Joe and Ellie. Oh, he could dish it out, but in the end he just wanted to protect them. He'd bailed Joe out of more scrapes with Ms. Jones than he cared to remember. He smiled to himself. He wished he'd had that opportunity with Clay.

"Thanks Adam," she said gratefully.

The rest of the ride home was quiet. As they stopped in the yard, Ellie jumped out of the wagon. Adam stopped her, "Ellie go ahead and take this note in to Pa. I'll put up the horses."

Ellie nodded her head. She might as well get it over with. She opened the front door and looked around for her father. He was sitting as his desk. She went to stand in front of his desk, shifting her feet from right to left. Pa looked up to see his daughter standing there. Obviously, something was wrong.

"Ellie, is something wrong?" he asked.

Ellie started twirling her hair with one hand and rubbing the note with her other hand.

"Ellie, did something happen at school today?" he asked again.

"Um, sort of," she said nervously.

Pa rolled his eyes. Sometime getting the story out of his youngest was like pulling teeth. Other times it was like a flood gate that couldn't be closed. "Well, what's that supposed to mean?' he demanded.

Ellie thrust the note toward her father. "Ms. Jones sent a note home."

Pa stood up and walked around the desk. He stood right next to Ellie with his hand out. "Let me have it," he demanded.

Ellie handed him the note. She sure didn't like that he had come around the desk to stand so close to her. His hand was way too close to her behind for her liking. She watched his normally friendly eyes turn narrow with anger. Ellie swallowed involuntarily. "Eleanor Grace, how many times have we talked about this?"

"I know Papa, it's just that…"

"It's just nothing. There is absolutely no excuse for this!"

"Yes sir, but…"

"Eleanor, what did I tell you the last time I got a note like this?"

Ellie sighed. She was trying to keep the tears from falling. "That I would be on restriction for two weeks and that means, not riding Mariah."

Pa nodded his head, "That's right. This note also says that you have a 200 word essay due tomorrow."

"Yes sir," she whispered.

Pa folded up the note, "Well, you best get up to your room and get that done. I want it done before supper."

"Yes sir," Ellie said as she started toward the stairs. She didn't get one step before Pa grabbed her arm and landed two powerful swats to her backside.

"Ow," she yelped.

Ellie made her way upstairs and Pa sat back down at his desk. What was he going to do with that girl? He was contemplating that very question when Adam came in. "Hi, Pa."

"Hi son," Pa said distractedly.

"Something wrong?" questioned Adam.

"Oh, your sister gave me that note. I don't know what to do about it. It doesn't seem like any punishment is really effective. I just don't understand why she can't pay attention."

"I do," offered Adam.

Pa looked up startled, "You do?"

"I think I do," said Adam.

"Well out with it son, what is going on with her?" Pa asked.

"She's bored," offered Adam.

"Bored, she's bored? That's no excuse," thundered Pa.

"No Pa, you don't understand," Adam said trying to explain.

"Then explain it," he demanded.

"Pa, Ellie told me that she has already finished her assignments for the entire school year. She said that she just gets done before everyone else and just ends up sitting there waiting for everyone else to finish." Adam explained.

Pa looked shocked, "I had no idea."

"Me either," said Adam running his hand through his hair.

"I wonder why she didn't say anything?" he asked thoughtfully.

Adam sighed, "She probably didn't want people thinking that she was different. She told me that she didn't think she was smarter than anyone else, she just understands quicker than most. She just doesn't want to get teased any more than she already does."

"She gets teased?" Pa asked.

"Oh you know kids. I got teased because I was smart, Hoss got teased because he's so big, Joe got teased because he was small, Ellie used to get teased because of her hearing loss and how she used to talk. We've all gotten teased because we are the "high and mighty" Cartwrights. For some reason, Ellie takes it to heart more than the rest of us did."

"I'm not sure what to do about it," Pa said drumming his fingers on his desk.

"Well, you sent me to college early if you remember. I was only 16." Adam reminded him.

"I am not sending my 13 year old daughter to college," Pa said fiercely.

"Of course not Pa. But maybe she could just test out of the 7th grade and move up to the 8th grade. No one would really have to know, just Ms. Jones." Adam suggested.

"Maybe that's the answer. I'll speak to Ms. Jones about it." Pa said looking at his son. "Thank you for telling me son, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Adam smiled. "Just part of being the oldest."

Pa headed up the stairs to Ellie's room. He found the door open and she was sitting at her desk concentrating on the essay. She didn't hear him. He stood at the doorway and watched her. She really looked just like her mother. He cleared his throat. She still didn't hear him. Ellie just happened to take her eyes off the paper and noticed Pa's boots in the door way.

"I'm really sorry Papa. I don't mean to not mind you, I really don't," she said softly.

Pa walked in and sat in the rocker. Oh he remembered many a night when he sat in that rocker with her. God, did he miss those days. "Come here for a minute," he said motioning her over.

Ellie went to stand beside him. She loved that rocker. It always held fond memories of Papa rocking her when she was scared or tired or sick. He pulled her into his lap. She was so small compared to him. She wasn't quite 5 feet tall and had the tiniest frame. She leaned on his chest.

"Ellie, why didn't you tell me what was going on in school?" he asked gently.

Ellie pulled herself off his chest, "What do you mean?" she asked looking at him directly in the eye.

"Adam told me you have already finished your assignments for the entire year." He told her.

"Oh, well yes that's true."

"Why didn't you tell me, baby?"

Ellie looked away and started twirling her hair. "I didn't want you to think I was bragging or that I thought that I was better than anyone else."

Pa shook his head in disbelief, "I wouldn't have thought that."

"And, um, I didn't want you to send me away to a boarding school or college. I want to be here with you."

"Send you away, why on earth would you think such a thing?" Pa asked completely shocked.

"Do you remember Nathan Anderson?" she asked.

Pa nodded his head.

"Mr. Anderson sent him to a school back east because Nathan was so far ahead of everyone. I remember that Nathan said the school in Virginia City couldn't keep up with him. I didn't want that to happen to me."

Pa couldn't believe that Ellie had been carrying this burden around with her. He hugged his daughter tight. "I would never do that unless it was something you really wanted. We can always discuss college when you're older."

Ellie sighed in relief. "But Papa, I honestly try to pay attention in school. I'm just not sure what to do."

"Your brother suggested that I talk to Ms. Jones and see about moving you up a grade."

"Oh, but then everyone is going to make fun of me for being such a smarty pants."

Pa hugged her again. "Baby, no one needs to know unless you tell them. I think M. Jones can find a way to give you 8th grade work, without alerting anyone."

"Oh, ok Papa."

Pa hugged her again and set her on her feet. He marveled at how a little girl could be so smart and beyond her years in somethings, but very much a little girl in other things.

"Papa?" she asked as he headed toward her door.

"Yes?"

"Am I still on restriction?"

"Well, I think we can let it go this time. If you had let me know what was going on, we may not have gotten to this. Sometimes, you need to ask for help. That's what fathers are for, to help."

"I know Papa." Ellie was thinking about the song. The song was right, she could put her burdens in Papa's hands and he would help her. Ellie finished her essay and was sitting at her desk day dreaming. Then she heard Joe yell, "Sissy, supper's ready."

Pa looked at his son, "Really Joseph, when I asked you t get your sister, I could have yelled for her, I wanted you t go upstairs and get her."

Joe grinned sheepishly, "Sorry, Pa." The others boys laughed softly. This was a frequent comment Pa made to Joe.

The family settled around the table for dinner. Ellie was distracted by the day's events and was pushing her food around on her plate. She really wasn't very hungry. Pa noticed. "Ellie, please eat your supper."

Still distracted, Ellie didn't hear him.

Will was sitting next to her and tapped her on the leg under the table. "What?" she asked crossly.

"Your Pa's talking to you," he whispered.

"Oh, yes Papa?" she said turning toward her father.

"Ellie, please eat."

"Oh, I'm not very hungry. May I be excused?"

Pa shook his head no, "Ellie" he said in his warning voice.

Ellie sighed and started eating. She finally ate enough to satisfy Pa and she asked to be excused again. This time he gave his permission. Ellie gratefully left the table and headed to her room.

The next morning, Ellie was up early and ready to go to school. "Good morning Papa," she said as she slid into her seat.

"Good morning," Pa replied.

Ellie didn't want to bring up anything negative, but she needed to return that note to Ms. Jones. "Papa, did you sign the note for Ms. Jones? I need to return it to her today." Ellie asked softly.

"No, but I am going to take you to school, so I can discuss this note with Ms. Jones." Pa answered.

"Oh," Ellie said worriedly. She just didn't want to be teased about being smart anymore. She wished the other kids would just leave her alone. Sometimes, she just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.

Pa noted the worried look on her face. "Ellie, I am just going to talk to her about moving you up, but just giving you the work without anyone else knowing."

"The other kids will figure it out Papa." Ellie said nervously, chewing on her lip.

Pa shook his head, "I don't think so, only if you tell them."

Ellie sighed. She didn't think for one minute the other kids wouldn't figure it out. She resigned herself to the fact that Papa was going to discuss it whether she wanted him to or not. Ellie finished her breakfast in silence. Pa was disturbed. His normally bright talkative baby was brooding. He just wasn't sure what the right answer was for Ellie. She certainly wasn't ready for college, she was much too emotionally immature for that. Maybe Ms. Jones would have some ideas. The grandfather clock rang 7:00, as the rest of the family arrived at the table. Pa looked at Ellie, "We should leave now so I can speak to Ms. Jones, come on Ellie."

Ellie just nodded her head and got up from the table to gather her books and lunch.

Pa looked at the boys, "I'm taking Ellie to school. I'll be back after a while. Please talk to Adam about today's work load."

He heard a chorus of 'yes sir", as he rose from the table.

Pa and Ellie walked out the front door. Joe turned to Adam, "What's that all about. Ellie looks upset. Pa doesn't normally take her to school unless there's a problem."

Adam sighed, "Pa needs to talk to Ms. Jones about Ellie. She's already finished her work for the entire year and she's been getting in trouble for day dreaming in class."

"Oh," Joe said nodding his head in understanding.

"Adam, what's Pa going to do about it?" asked Clay.

Adam sighed. "They're probably going to move her up a grade. Probably the best thing would be to send her to boarding school. I know she is way ahead."

All the boys at once started to protest. "He can't send her away. She's just a baby. She needs her family."

Adam held up his hand to try and forestall any more comments. "Calm down. Pa's not sending her away. She isn't ready for something like that. He's going to talk to Ms. Jones about just giving her the work for the next grade level."

A sigh of relief was heard around the table.

Meanwhile, Pa and Ellie were riding silently in the buggy. Each lost in his or her own thoughts. Finally, they arrived in the school yard. Ellie spotted Marybeth. She wanted to go run to her friend to tell her about Ms. Jones and the discussion with the Reverend. She looked at her father, "Papa, may I…"

Pa chuckled. Well, somethings never change. At least her spirit seemed to pick up. "Yes, go see Marybeth, while I speak to Ms. Jones."

Pa lifted Ellie out of the buggy and set her on the ground. "Please try and pay attention today. One of the boys will pick you up from school."

Ellie nodded her head, "Yes sir." Ellie watched her Papa head into the school house and shook her head. She walked over to Marybeth. "Heh, Marybeth."

"Heh Ellie," Marybeth greeted. "What's your Papa doing here?"

Ellie grabbed Marybeth's arm to head over to the side of the yard so they could talk privately. "I got a note yesterday about not paying attention."

Marybeth nodded, "I know."

"I told Adam the reason that I have trouble paying attention." Ellie admitted.

Marybeth looked shocked, "You actually told him that you finished all your assignments for the year? Why in the world would you do that? Ms. Jones will just find more busy work for you to do."

Ellie nodded miserably, "I know. It just kind of popped out. I didn't really mean to tell him. But every time I get in trouble at school, I get in trouble at home."

"Yeah, same thing for me." Marybeth sympathized.

"Papa is going to ask her to move me up a grade without letting on to anyone else." Ellie confided.

"Oh, that would be neat. We would be in the same grade," said Marybeth.

Ellie nodded, "I know, but if it happens, please don't tell anyone, especially Priscilla. If she teases me, I'm going to want to deck her. Then I'll really be in trouble."

Marybeth laughed, "That's for sure."

"I went to talk to Reverend Price about that song. Adam and I sang it for him and he said it was fine. I asked if you could play the piano and Adam could play the guitar while Adam and I sing the song. He said it would be ok and we can practice after school. Do you think your mama would let you stay after school and practice? Whoever picks me up from school can see you home."

Marybeth nodded her head in agreement. "I'll ask, but I'm sure it would be ok."

"Oh, and the Reverend said we could keep it a secret. I don't want Papa to know." Ellie added.

"That might be a little harder, can I tell Papa and Mama so they know why I can't just practice on the piano at home?"

"Sure I guess, as long as they don't tell my Papa." Ellie agreed.

The girls heard the school bell and headed for the school.

While the girls had been talking, Pa had gone to see Ms. Jones. He walked up the steps to the school house and entered the room, "Ms. Jones, may I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course Mr. Cartwright, I assume you want to discuss Eleanor's continuing lack of attention in school."

"Yes ma'am," he said handing her the signed note.

Ms. Jones accepted the note from him, "Really, Mr. Cartwright, the frequency is increasing. I am at my whit's end. I don't know what to do. No punishment seems to be effective. My next step is to discipline her in front of the whole class."

Pa's anger started to rise. The thought that this woman would strike his child especially in front of the whole class made him madder than a wet hen. He sucked in his breath, "Ms. Jones, I believe I know why this is happening and maybe have a solution."

She looked at him questioningly. She had had Hoss and Joe when they were younger. Hoss always seem to be a polite young man. He didn't get into much trouble. For some reason, the students used to tease him about being big and stupid. She couldn't understand why. He was a very intelligent young man. He was much smarter than the other students gave him credit for. However, there was Joseph. He was an extremely bright young man as well, but his penchant for getting in trouble far exceeded everything else. She and Adam Cartwright had clashed over Joe's punishment. When Mr. Cartwright had been out of town, Ms. Jones had soundly whipped Joseph for his misbehavior. Adam came the next day and told her in no uncertain terms, that she did not have permission to physically chastise Joseph and that any physical punishment would be given at home. Adam had threatened to get her fired. She never touched Joseph again. Not to say they she didn't send numerous notes home, but she never physically punished him after that. Here she was again with the youngest Cartwright. She was grateful that there were no more Cartwrights. The Cartwrights seem to think they were a cut above everyone else. No other parents seem to have a problem with her discipline methods. She sighed again, she supposed Mr. Cartwright was going to forbid her from any physical chastisement.

Pa cleared his throat, "Ms. Jones, Ellie has finished all her assignments for the entire year, she's bored while she waits for the other children to finish their assignments."

Ms. Jones gasped, "I had no idea. Why didn't she tell me?"

Pa sighed, " I suppose it's because she didn't want to appear to brag and she doesn't want to be teased about being smart. And I'm sure she doesn't want extra work."

"I see," said Ms. Jones thoughtfully.

"Adam suggested that you move her up to the 8th grade." Pa suggested.

Ms. Jones nodded her head, "Well I suppose that's possible. She would have to take the 7th grade end of the year test first."

Pa nodded in agreement, "I think that would be fine. The other thing is that Ellie doesn't want any of the other students to know. She said she doesn't want to be teased."

Ms. Jones smiled. "I think that can be arranged."

Pa sighed, "Fine Ms. Jones, we can make arrangements for that test. And one more thing,"

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright?"

"I did not sign an agreement allowing for physical punishment of my children. If they need to be punished, I will handle it. I assure you that I don't allow my children to escape a punishment went necessary."

Ms. Jones bowed her head in agreement, "Of course Mr. Cartwright."

"Good day Ms. Jones," Pa said placing his hat back on his head and taking his leave.

The school day was uneventful. Ellie did her best to pay attention. She was successful. When Ms. Jones dismissed the class for the day, Marybeth and Ellie exited the school house. They both noticed that Andrew and Adam had arrived to pick them up from school. Marybeth was surprised to see Andrew. He had just gotten married a few months ago. He still lived on the 5 Star in his own house with his wife Rachel. He didn't normally pick her up.

Marybeth ran up to Andrew, "Hi Andrew."

"Hi honey, how was your day?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Uh, fine. I was wondering, could we just stay in town for maybe 30 minutes, so I can…"

Andrew held up his hand to stop her. " I already know, I talked to Adam while we were waiting for you two."

"Do you think Mama and Papa will say it's ok?" she asked.

Andrew nodded, "I think so. I will square it with them. Adam is going to see you to the fork and one of the boys will meet you there to see you home in an hour."

Marybeth rolled her eyes. She could ride the mile from the fork to home. After all she was 14. She had the most protective family in the world. They drove her crazy. She probably wouldn't have any freedom until she was old and gray.

Andrew raised his eyebrows, "Don't roll your eyes at me little girl. That' s Papa's orders, not mine and even if Papa didn't think it was necessary, I do."

A myriad of words were running through her mind, like obstinate, bossy, pig-headed, over protective jerk, but wisely she just said, "Sorry."

Adam and Ellie watched the emotions play across her face and laughed. "Come on girls, let go practice." Adam said as he led his horse toward the church.

The girls followed Adam after saying goodbye to Andrew. Marybeth looked at Ellie, "Jeez, you'd think I was still 5."

Ellie nodded her head sympathetically, "I know, same thing happens to me. I guess it's because we're the youngest and the only girls."

"I wonder if Papa is ever going to let me off the ranch?" groused Marybeth.

"Off the ranch? Where would you go?" asked Ellie.

"Well there's this music school in San Francisco. Mama is trying to convince Papa to let me go when I leave school here." Marybeth confided.

"Wow, you want to leave?" asked Ellie.

"Well not exactly, but I played for them last time we went to San Francisco. The headmaster said I might become a concert pianist with the right training. It's a dream Ellie. I could travel the world playing the piano."

"Marybeth, would you really leave your family?" asked Ellie.

" I wouldn't just leave them for anything Ellie, this is a dream I have. I would like the chance to make my dream come true."

"Wow, I don't think I could do it," Ellie said.

Marybeth nodded, "Yeah, it would be really hard, but it might just be worth it."

"Hmm," Ellie said thoughtfully.

Adam had been listening to this conversation the whole way to the church. He hoped that it didn't encourage Ellie to want to go off to college anytime soon. They arrived at the church and headed toward the sanctuary with the piano. Practice went smoothly for the first time, even though they still had some kinks to work out. Fortunately, Marybeth was really good at sight reading. The trio wrapped up practice and headed for home. They arrived at the fork and Matt was there to meet them.

"She's all yours, Matt," Adam said as Matt rode up to greet them.

"Thanks for seeing her to the fork, Adam," said Matt.

"You know, "she's" right here," said Marybeth irritably.

Matt glowered at her, "Manners," he scowled.

Marybeth sighed, she sure didn't want Matt telling her parents that she had been disrespectful, she turned to Adam. "Thank you for seeing me to the fork, Adam. See you tomorrow Ellie."

Adam and Ellie chuckled. As they took their leave, Adam turned to Ellie. "So, how are you feeling about the song?"

"Pretty good," she said happily. "I think we will have it down by the end of the week."

"Me too," said Adam.

Every day, Adam, Ellie and Marybeth followed the same routine. Every day, they got better and better. Ellie was really feeling confident about the song. Before she knew it, the 23rd was upon them. She was excited to give Papa this very special birthday present. That morning, she dressed in her best dress. She didn't even wear her Sunday best, she wore her very best party dress. She hoped Papa wouldn't be suspicious. She descended the stairs to breakfast. All the boys looked up as she came down. They all whistled.

"Wow, Sissy, you look beautiful," Joe said."

Papa looked at her, she brought a tear to his eye. She looked exactly like Marie in that moment. She was wearing a light blue silk dress. The contrast with her dark hair was breathtaking.

"Happy birthday Papa," she said making her way to him to give him a birthday kiss.

"Thank you. You look extra beautiful today. Why are you so dressed up?" he asked.

"I don't know. Just for your birthday. I wanted to look extra special."

Adam smiled, she did that well.

"Well princess, you sure look extra special," said Hoss.

Ellie blushed, "Thanks Hoss." She giggled to herself. This was going to be such a surprise for not only Papa, but the boys as well.

Finally the family finished breakfast. "Let's get going, so we aren't late for church," Pa said as he pushed back from the table. They all got up from their seats and headed out to the buggy. The ride to church was a normal rambunctious affair. Pa enjoyed every minute of it. He felt so blessed to have all his children in one place at one time. Even though Will was his nephew, he felt that Will was one of his children. He was going to miss Will being around all the time because he was going to be marrying Laura from a neighboring ranch. Will would be working that ranch instead of the Ponderosa. Pa contented himself with the idea that Will would be right next door and they would be together often. He certainly couldn't keep his boys from growing up. As they arrived at church, everyone headed into the sanctuary. The Sunday school classes were cancelled for the day.

As the service came to a close, Reverend Price made an announcement. "We have a very special performance today."

Ellie looked at Adam as she stepped out into the aisle. Adam grabbed her hand and his guitar. Pa looked at him surprised. He hadn't noticed that Adam had his guitar in the buggy. Adam and Ellie headed to the front of the church. Marybeth was already at the piano.

Ellie stood in front of the congregation. She was a little nervous. "Reverend Price asked me to sing a song today. He asked me why I chose this song. This song reminds that God is always in control and we can place all of our problems in his hands because he is bigger than we are and can take on all of our burdens. But I also chose this song because it's my Papa's birthday today and this song really reminds me that he is always here for me and I can always trust him to take care of me and help me with whatever problems that I have. It also reminds me that he is here for me and my brothers and we are lucky to have him. Will, I know you are my cousin, but I think of you as one of my brothers and I know Papa thinks of you as one of his sons."

Wills eyes moistened a little. Pa was dumbfounded. Ellie looked at Adam and Marybeth and nodded her head. They started to play. Ellie started to sing.

_Every anxious thought that steals my breath  
It's a heavy weight upon my chest  
As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold_

As Ellie hit the chorus, she looked at Adam nervously. He nodded his head. She walked down the steps to her Papa, who was sitting on the aisle in the family pew. She walked right up to him and sang the chorus as she took his hands in her hands and looked him directly in the eye.

_Help me to remember that You're in control_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind_

As she finished the chorus, she let go of her father's hands, kissed him on the cheek and walked back up to the front and finished singing.

_I will trust You, Lord  
I will fear no more_

_I will lift my eyes  
I will lift my cares  
Lay them in Your hands  
I'll leave them there  
When the wind and waves are coming  
You shelter me  
Even though I'm in the storm, the storm is not in me_

_You're my courage when I worry in the dead of night  
You're my strength 'cause I'm not strong enough to win this fight  
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind  
I will trust You, Lord_

When she finished singing, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Pa's face had tears streaming down it. He was surely blessed by this child. As she finished the song, she and Adam left the front of the church. The Reverend said the final prayer and dismissed the congregation.

Ellie slipped into the pew next her father, "I love you, Papa, Happy Birthday!"


End file.
